More of God

Lately, I find myself wallowing in my boredom. I have asked 'Why must things be so quiet?' or 'Why must things be so boring?, ' more times than I care to admit. Perhaps, if I'm honest with myself, I have not used the quiet moments as well as I should have. Instead, I've tried filling the moments with noise - with worthless things. If I'm being honest...

I have often joked that I am generally operating at one of two speeds: hectic and asleep. It's quite sad, if you really think about it. That this is the new normal. At that pace, you miss so much. The little moments - the quiet whispers - the small blessings get caught up in the noise of life. Where is God in the moments? How many times have I passed him by, doing noble things, doing meaningless things? How many times have I pushed him away by not looking for him in the quiet? How many times?

The thing about going from the extreme of completely busy to asleep is that there isn't time for the quiet. Am I afraid of the quiet? If I'm being honest, then I would probably have to answer yes. There's this thing about silence. I don't know really know what to do with it. It's a blank canvas, and I feel a little lost. Which direction do I go? Where do I begin? What if I don't hear God in the silence? What if I do?

The Whole Heart sermon series taking place at our church has really gotten me thinking - thinking about what the spiritual disciplines really mean, and what it means to experience more of God in the everyday moments - my everyday moments. Instead of filling the silence with more noise, I'll draw nearer to him. Instead of being double-minded in the quiet, thinking of how bored I feel or what I'm not doing, I'll use the quiet to just be still. I'll stop seeking my worth in all the things I do, and tune the beat of my heart into the Lord.

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded." James 4:8